I recommend: Relationship-radar reads
Editor’s Note: As you well know, splainer subscribers are terribly erudite and very well-read—which is why we have to put on our A game to keep up. We asked some of them to share their reading recommendations—which reflects their unique interests and preoccupations.
This time around, we have London-based culture and lifestyle writer Darshita Goyal whose list explores everything from fiancé problems to pop culture cults and messy male characters written by women.
Written by: Darshita Goyal is a London-based culture and lifestyle writer specialising in all things Gen Z. You can read her weekly internet culture newsletter here.
The List by Yomi Adegoke: As someone who is chronically online, this book reeled me in instantly. Let’s set the scene: you’re a celebrated journalist who reports on predators from the me-too era. You’ve won awards for your work and you’re also a month away from marrying the love of your life. Until one ill fated day, an anonymous Twitter list accuses your fiancé of being a predator himself. What do you do? Goosebumps.
BFFs: The Radical Potential of Female Friendship by Anahit Behrooz: I truly believe a girl gang can fix anything and this book pays an ode to those radical female friendships. In talking about rejecting the pressures to conform to patriarchal and romantic relationships—it challenges ingrained biases that girlfriends come second. For every time that you’ve yearned for a grand celebration of platonic love—here’s your answer.
Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell: This pop culture guide helped me identify all the ways in which language contributes to cults and just how many businesses employ inclusive language to make you feel part of a “community”. Montell takes special care to explain that cults are not just religious but can just as easily be fandoms — Swifties, Apple loyalists, reality TV! And if you’re someone who is a better listener than reader, check out Montell’s podcast ‘Sounds Like A Cult’.
Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict by Elizabeth Day: In the iconic words of Maddy Perez, “Is this play about us?” this book about people who are addicted to friendships hoping to escape being alone—and as a form of personal validation—called me out in more ways than one. Day also explores how high school friendships evolve into adulthood, writing poignantly about the importance of drawing boundaries, no matter how much you may want to be everyone’s go-to person.
Good Material by Dolly Alderton: My new favourite sub-genre is female writers crafting expressive, messy male characters. This one does it incredibly well and shows us heartbreak from a man’s pov: sign me right up! Our protagonist Andy isn’t perfect by any means but Alderton takes us through the chaos and desperation of his break up with great earnestness—when he drunk-calls his high school ex on a landline—a forgotten part of me related so hard and I know you will too.
Poor Little Sick Girls by Ione Gamble: Every once in a while you read a book that makes you feel like you know nothing about the world, Gamble’s memoir was that for me. It questions modern feminism, the way we understand wellness and how we make space for disability in hustle culture. The writer was diagnosed with an incurable illness weeks after turning 19. As Instagram became populated with #GirlBoss and #ThatGirl narratives, Gamble navigated just how lopsided, privileged and exclusive these ideas were.
Unlikeable Female Characters: The Women Pop Culture Wants You to Hate by Anna Bogutskaya: I’m obsessed with reading content that takes pop culture beyond the screen and into real life. Through each chapter, Bogutskaya unravels the characteristics that make up an “unlikeable” female character. Like how did Sex and The City’s Samantha Jones become the slut? Why is Regina George a Mean Girl? And most importantly, how does this impact the way we see women in our lives? Full debrief here. Desperately seeking the Indian version of this book for Komolika!
Takeaway: Stories from a Childhood Behind the Counter by Angela Hui: As someone who deeply enjoys food and builds relationships over and around it, I was fascinated and moved by Hui’s memoir of growing up in a family that runs a Chinese takeaway restaurant in London. From stories of verbal abuse thanks to impatient customers to all the activity behind the scenes that keeps a restaurant alive, the book paints an evocative picture of a Chinese takeaway. It hits the notes on food acting as emotion and shares an honest immigrant experience without making you feel like an outsider.
Unshrinking: How to Face Fatphobia by Kate Manne: A battle cry against fatphobia, this book first disarmed me—making me feel seen and part of a movement—and then armed me to respond to it. Manne blends personal experience with research on how pretty privilege (and anti-fatness) influence the way we perceive intellect, beauty and worth. The author urges you to look at your body as just yours and not society’s to see how this changes your relationship. I was tearing up, nodding furiously and asking more questions through each chapter.
No Judgement: Essays by Lauren Oyler: One for the group chat: expect notes on gossip, being vulnerable in the age of social media, attention economy, spoilers and even GoodReads. My favourite essay is on ‘autofiction’, the growing genre where writers blur the lines between reality and fiction for clout. Oyler combines research and expert interviews with anecdotal writing punctuated with millennial humour. On the days that I can’t get my mind to be still enough to read a full book; essays like this draw me in.
