The TLDR: Billionaire divorces are often a source of great speculation, but the Gates breakup has triggered an unexpected bounty of stories that are in wild contrast to Bill’s nerdy image. Did we ever really know Bill Gates? 

Researched by: Sara Varghese and Vagda Galhotra

Bill & Melinda’s love ishtory

They met in 1987, 12 years after Bill founded Microsoft. He was the CEO while she was a product manager—and met when they ended up sitting next to each other at a business dinner. And it was hardly love at first sight. As Bill said in a Netflix documentary, “When we first met, she had other boyfriends, and I had Microsoft.” Before popping the question, he made a meticulous list of pros and cons (on a whiteboard, no less). They finally became engaged in 1993 and looked kinda cute together:

The wedding: They got married a year later in 1994 in Hawaii, in a super-private wedding. Melinda posted this throwback clip of Bill trying and failing to cut his multilayer wedding cake—foiled by the cardboard hidden inside:

The marriage: Over the years, the Gates have emphasized the importance of sharing the same values. Melinda said:

“First, we agree on basic values. For our wedding, Bill’s parents gave us a sculpture of two birds side by side, staring at the horizon, and it’s still in front of our house. I think of it all the time, because fundamentally we’re looking in the same direction.”

And she’s also spoken about the struggle to forge a shared value around gender equality, admitting they "didn't quite have it right at first" when it came to dividing domestic chores:

“So often we assume—both the women and the men in the marriage—that stuff falls to the mom. I was trying to show how I had to look at these issues and I had to name my truth to my husband for us to be able to change… Actually, I have total equality with Bill. But it took awhile for us to get there."

Of their relationship Bill has said, “We are partners in both senses that people use the word these days: at home and at work.”

They’d been married for 27 years when they finally announced the end of their marriage—saying “we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives.” In her divorce filing, Melinda described the marriage as “irretrievably broken.”

Point to note: There’s been a lot of confusion over whether the couple have a prenuptial or not (yes, no, maybe). But it is clear that their assets will be divided according to a more recent separation agreement. FYI: “The fortune of Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates exceeds the size of Morocco’s annual economy, combines the value of Ford, Twitter and Marriott International and is triple the endowment of Harvard.”

The big breakup

The first sign of real trouble came when the couple announced they will not be attending the World Economic Forum in 2020. And the Wall Street Journal claims they were already in discussions over how to divide their wealth. As for the reasons for the split, there are a number of theories out there. 

A ‘loveless marriage’: One popular theory is that the relationship had been dead for a while—with some gossipy employees comparing it to the Donald-Melania nightmare. Tabloids like the New York Post reported Bill often told his golfing buddies that they were trapped in a “loveless marriage”—and leading separate lives. And sources close to the couple confirmed to Daily Beast that they appear to have drifted apart:

The couple used to interact with “more laughter and ease,” said one friend of Bill, who added that eventually, “being around them was like arriving at a summit. It wasn’t like arriving at a dinner with a couple or something; it was more like two heads of state,”

New York Times says the two had crafted their own separate realms even at work—and at the foundation they ran together. All of which has led to much speculation about the timing of the divorce—which may have to do with the fact that their last child will be headed to college soon: “They limped through until their kids were out of school like a lot of people.” And as with any divorce proceedings, it always helps if you don’t have to fight over custody of the kids.

Point to note:  There has also been lots of speculation over Bill’s ex-girlfriend Ann Winblad—who he has remained close friends with over the years.

Lack of equality: There has been heavy but implicit reporting around Melinda’s desire for independence—perhaps inspired by the example of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife Mackenzie Scott. She has talked in the past about the difficulty of forging her own identity outside of being Mrs Gates—a goal that has been hugely important to her. Speaking of her early years at the Gates Foundation, she said: 

“When Bill first came over to the foundation from Microsoft, he was used to being in charge. I’d stayed home with our kids, so I was restarting my career. There were times I felt that disparity—in meetings when I was reticent and he was voluble, or when the person we were meeting with looked toward Bill and not me.”

Even as late as 2019, she wrote in her book, “I’ve been trying to find my voice as I’ve been speaking next to Bill, and that can make it hard to be heard.” Not helping the cause: her husband: “Mr. Gates made sure his voice was dominant and could be dismissive toward Ms. French Gates, causing some foundation employees to cringe.” 

Point to note: The New York Times also underlines the events surrounding Bill’s money manager Michael Larson. One of his employees alleged he was sexually harassing her, and wrote to the couple. The complaint finally resulted in a nondisclosure agreement in exchange for a payment: “While Mr. Gates thought that brought the matter to an end, Ms. French Gates was not satisfied with the outcome”—and called for legal investigation.

Will the real Bill Gates please stand up?

It is hardly shocking that a couple would drift apart over the course of a long marriage. But what is shocking is a new picture of Bill who has long been viewed as a passionately nerdy family man. 

Chasing female employees: New York Times spoke to at least six current and former employees of Microsoft, the foundation and the firm that manages the Gates’s fortune. And they all confirm that the very-married tycoon behaved inappropriately with women working for him, saying things like: “I want to see you. Will you have dinner with me?” Also this:

“Mr. Gates was known for making clumsy approaches to women in and out of the office. His behavior fueled widespread chatter among employees about his personal life. Some of the employees said that while they disapproved of Mr. Gates’s behavior, they did not perceive it to be predatory. They said he did not pressure the women to submit to his advances for the sake of their careers, and he seemed to feel that he was giving the women the space to refuse his advances.”

All this while his wife committed $1 billion to promote gender equality—which included battling “pervasive sexual harassment and discrimination.”

The affair: At least one of these advances resulted in an extramarital affair—which became an issue in 2019:

“Members of the Microsoft board became aware in late 2019 of the letter from the female engineer, who demanded changes to her Microsoft job and also shared details of her relationship with Mr. Gates… As more became clear about the matter, board members were concerned Mr. Gates’s relationship with the woman had been inappropriate and they didn’t want a director associated with this situation in the wake of the #MeToo movement, the people said.”

Gates was pushed to step down, and he eventually resigned. While his spokesperson admits “there was an affair almost 20 years ago which ended amicably,” she said his “decision to transition off the board was in no way related to this matter.”

The Epstein connection: Billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein was charged with sex trafficking, and died by suicide in 2019. His relationship with Bill dates back to 2011. Point to note: “By the time Mr. Gates and Mr. Epstein first met, Mr. Epstein had served jail time for soliciting prostitution from a minor and was required to register as a sex offender.” At the time, Bill said of Epstein: “His lifestyle is very different and kind of intriguing although it would not work for me.” And yet: “For years, Mr. Gates continued to go to dinners and meetings at Mr. Epstein’s home, where Mr. Epstein usually surrounded himself with young and attractive women.” Also this: multiple sources have confirmed to various publications that Bill often complained to Epstein about his “toxic” marriage. And at least Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair etc. think that Epstein was key to Melinda’s decision to walk out. 

The wild, wild Bill: A lot of this behaviour may seem out of character, but Times UK claims “the hidden life of Bill Gates reveals a much livelier and loucher character than his cuddly-nerd public persona.” According to one Gates biography, as a Harvard student, he liked to “frequent Boston’s notorious Combat Zone, with its porn shows, strip joints and prostitutes.” And when he was a bachelor CEO, his PR machine made sure journalists kept his lifestyle on the down low:

“They also didn’t report on the wild bachelor parties that Microsoft’s boyish chairman would throw in his Seattle home, for which Gates would visit one of Seattle’s all-nude nightclubs and hire dancers to come to his home and swim naked with his friends in his indoor pool.”

The bottomline: Oh Bill, we never knew ye! Also: Somewhere, Jeff Bezos is laughing his ass off.

Reading list

• CNN has a timeline of Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates’ relationship over the years. 
• New York Times has three important pieces. One, the 2019 piece that details Bill Gates and Jeffrey Epstein’s relationship—which might have been the trigger for the divorce. Two, this recent story that looks at allegations about his inappropriate behaviour toward employees. Three, a report on the couple crafting separate worlds at work.
• Wall Street Journal has details of the divorce proceedings initiated by Melinda in 2019, and the board’s investigation into Bill’s affair.
• For gossipy reads: Times UK has a juicy piece on Bill’s “secret life,” while Daily Beast has a fairly mean (to Melinda) story on his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.